Living in two different places is never easy. Many do not understand why I am doing what I am doing. The answer to that is simple: Love. Being away from the one person you cherish more than any other is not the easiest thing to do. There are many nights that you wish to be together. There are nights when you wake up, and while still half asleep, you reach beside you in a sleepy state just to sigh when you grasp only air.
"I tell you goodnight with tears in my eyes, I wish I was there curled up by your side. Time passes, but not fast enough. I try to be strong but I am not tough enough. When I feel your embrace it will be all right, but my heart aches for you now on this lonely night."
There are positives and negatives to such a relationship. But one thing I can say for sure, this relationship has a purpose. The distance has taught me trust him above all else. It has taught me to have faith at all times. That doesn't mean that everything will go smoothly and as planned. Quite the opposite in our case. We have been tested time and again. Having faith in each other has helped us get through when are best made plans fail.
Many have questioned how I do not get frustrated with all the delays. At one point, I would not have been able to; however, this relationship, this love has taught me something very important: patience. Not just patience in seeing him, in touching him; however, patience in God. I have learned to be patient with God because only he knows the timeline of my life. When our plans fail, I look to him. God knows when the perfect time will be. Only then will everything go together.
"I long for the day I’ll dream of your kiss no more, when your lips will caress mine for real, when your touch makes me alive again, and the sight of you arouses all my senses."
My strength, patience, and faith has lead me to the confidence I have needed to maintain all of these lessons. It has not been an easy road, and I have had many doubts. My courage has helped me overcome those doubts and to let my feelings for him grow stronger despite the distance. Confidence is knowing that my faith will lend me comfort on those hard nights when I long to have him by my side.
"What I have with you is worth it. It is worth every lonely night, every tear I cry from missing you, and the pain I feel from not having you close. It is worth it because you are my one and only. When I picture myself years from now, I see only you. No matter how painful distance can be, not having you in my life would be worse."
Every trait I have listed previously lends me a hand in the final one: Love. We are back to the reason why I patiently wait with confidence for the distance to no longer be an issue. My love for him is unwavering. Many will come against us, but I have faith that we will always make it through. Love is an overpowering emotion. It embodies every hope and dream I have ever had and expands to encompass him as well. My love for him is all consuming and never ending. No matter how many miles are between us, my heart is yours to keep.
I will hold you in my heart, until I can hold you in my arms.
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