My dear brothers and sisters, we would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most. - Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Unpopular opinion: I don't set goals. Let me explain. I am notorious for creating goals and not sticking with them. I know there are many tools out there for people like me to help me, like the Powersheets from Lara Casey that my best friend uses; however, I am not sure I am in the right place in my life to use those tools.
So for 2020, I landed on setting some intentions for myself. It is funny how this came about, so let me back up. I was talking with my fiance and he said something I was unclear about (this will tie into my first intention in a moment). That conversation sparked the idea for what is going to be my biggest intention for the year. I wanted to write this blog as a way to not only track my intentions but to hold myself accountable to them. Are you ready to find out what it is?
Clarity. Defined as the quality of transparency or purity.
Those who know me well know my struggles with mental health. One of the places I often find myself is telling myself things in my head that may or may not be true. Not just about myself, but also about conversations I have had or things that were said to me. My intention this year is to ask for the clarification that I need. Whether it is with myself, or with someone else, I want to stop the narratives I can sometimes find myself trapped in. This is also loosely inspired by something Annie F. Downs said. I wish I could give you the exact reference, but she was referring to asking someone about a narrative that she was playing in her head. That really resonated with me.
How do I want to accomplish this? With myself, I want to ask myself if what I am thinking or feeling based in truth or is it based in doubt. With others, when something they say makes me overthink, I want to have the courage to ask for clarity.
Gratitude. Defined as the quality of being thankful.
This intention is more of a gateway for me. I want to start with writing down gratitude, no matter how big or small, so that I can hopefully start to open myself up more for journaling in the future. I am feeling the nudge to do so, but I really struggle with writing things out. You would think as a blogger it would come naturally to me; however, writing about my feelings and struggles and even my successes is extremely terrifying to me. Any past attempts to write for me haven't lasted for more than a week at best. Little by little I want to build up to this one.
How am I going to work my way up? I am starting this month with the gratitude and memories spread in my bullet journal. I didn't number the lines because I want to freedom to do it when I am really inspired to and without line limitations. The first thing I wrote down this morning was ringing in the New Year playing Mario Kart Tour with my bestie. (She talked about this app in her Blogmas Day 3: My Guilty Pleasure post, but it took me a shell and a bolt of lightning to start playing as well.)
Boldness. Defined as the quality of having a strong, vivid, or clear appearance.
I am not talking about being bold in my everyday life, although I might benefit from doing so. I want to focus on being bold in prayer and a relationship with God. I want to intentionally challenge myself to step out in faith and talk to God boldly. This intention was sparked from a recent health complication. This prayer hasn't been answered yet; however, I boldly asked and I am believing in his power to move in this situation. Praying that boldly opened up my eyes and my heart to want to be bold with God more often. Not in the sense of ultimatums or demands, but in the ways that challenge me to fully trust in him obediently.
How am I stepping it up in my prayer life? I am challenging myself to start writing out some of my prayers. It won't be a daily habit; however, I do want to write some of my prayers down and revisit them. I keep a prayer journal with lists of what to pray over and answered prayers, but this is a little more focused. I will be talking more about faith in a blog coming out soon, so keep checking back for that post.
I want all of you to hold me accountable for these intentions. Having prayed over them, I do feel like these are the main ones that have consistently come back to me. 2020 is my year to be more centered, grounded, and faithful in all areas of my life. Maybe this will even lead me to blog more about my personal life as well.
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